Each month, we get real talk on relationship problems from three of the gents who put the “men” in Men’s Health. This month, we asked: My new boyfriend was devastated when his ex cheated on him. I once cheated on an ex. Do I confess? Here’s what they had to say:
DEAN STATTMANN, BRAND EDITOR: SPEAK UP BEFORE HE ASKS.
He’s eventually going to ask if you’ve ever cheated, so address it before he does—but tell him why. Sharing will help him better understand your needs, put his mind at ease, and even improve your relationship.
PAUL KITA, FOOD AND NUTRITION EDITOR: YES, CAREFULLY.
The worst way to prove that you’re now trustworthy is to hide that you weren’t in the past. Frame the discussion around the realizations you made about yourself. He’ll see your honesty as a sign you’ve learned.
MICHAEL SNEEDEN, SENIOR VIDEO PRODUCER: IT DEPENDS.
Put yourself in his shoes—would you want to know if he’d been unfaithful in the past? If so, fess up. It’s better to hear it from you now than from someone else later on.
THE CONSENSUS
Cheating in a previous relationship isn’t a deal breaker, but you know what is? Being dishonest in your current one. Spilling now is actually a chance to benefit from your past transgression. Approach it truthfully and you’ll reach a deeper level of communication and connection with your man.
This article originally appeared on Women’s Health Mag
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