Getting waxed is like going to spin class or eating spinach: You don’t always love the process, but the results are amazing. Okay, scratch that, there is nothing remotely enjoyable about getting your delicate hair, whether it’s on your legs or your bikini line, ripped from the root. We’re just in it for the aftermath of hairlessness. Getting a full on lobotomy of your hair comes with an onslaught of emotions and mental commentary. Read on for the highlights:
Lying on your back pants-less, then spreading your knees apart, would normally indicate you’re about to get some romantic action. When you’re assuming that position in preparation to have hot lava poured onto your bare skin, it doesn’t feel nearly as sultry.
Sometimes you go pretty long between waxes because, well, winter, budget, celibacy—the list goes on. Thank God they don’t charge by the strip.
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It’s kind of insane that we slap down a Visa for a service that could also double as a torture technique. Is flaunting a smooth brow or bikini line sans bumps worth it? That’s up to you.
You convince yourself that after the first few brutal yanks, you’ll be immune and pretty soon, you won’t even feel the pain anymore. Maybe you could even take a phone call or paint your nails? Nope, each rip is just as excruciating as the last.
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If the wax wielder is doing their job, no hair should be spared—and especially in the case of a Brazilian, that can lead to some surprises. The person accosting your nether region has had closer encounters with your labia than any lover or gyno could ever dream of having.
It’s like the longest beauty ritual of all time. What else could you accomplish in the time it takes to get waxed? Running a marathon? Curing cancer? The options are endless.
When you initially look down and see bright red skin, you start to question why you ever made this decision. You remind yourself for the umpteenth time, it’s temporary, you’ve got exfoliator at home, and everything will calm down once your vagina is accustomed to its newfound baldness.
This article originally appeared on Womenshealthmag.com.
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