Hunter McGrady is one of those people who warms you in her light, and then transfers her joy to your spirit. It’s as if she walked into my office leaving magic in her path. The Sports Illustrated swimsuit rookie, who first appeared in the magazine’s 2017 issue, has been open about her battle with depression, commitment to self-love, and new inclusive swimwear line. I sat down with her in hopes that the rest of us could experience some of that magic if we learned more about how she thinks and the relationship she has with herself.
Becoming a Model
Los Angeles native McGrady started her career at 15 as a “straight-size model,” but soon realized that it was unsustainable. “I remember getting a job booked and I showed up, and they said, ‘God, we didn't realize how big you were,’” she recalls. “I was like, ‘Huh?’ I would work out for five hours a day, I would eat nothing. If I showed you pictures, you would think it wasn’t me.”
As a result, McGrady took a break for a few years until age 19. Upon learning about plus-size modeling, however, she went in to meet with iconic modeling agency Wilhelmina. They signed her on the spot.
Still, even with her near-overnight success in her new career path, she couldn’t help but feel plagued by negative thoughts. “For me, I was embarrassed because I was taught to believe that it's embarrassing to be bigger,” she tells Allure. “And so, for the longest time, I would never tell people I was a plus-size model.”
I was brainwashed by society, and it took me a while to realize that it’s bullshit.
Overcoming feelings of unworthiness and not seeing yourself through society’s critical eye is easier said than done. I ask McGrady how she broke through this. “Honestly, my family,” she answers, smiling. “My mom, who was a model, would say, ‘Hunter, you are in your own body now. This is who you're supposed to be.’ And I had to really tell myself, ‘This is your body. This is your one and only body…Step out of your mind, step out of what society has tried to shove down your throat, and look at yourself and know that your body is beautiful.’”
With some hard work, however, she was ultimately able to overcome them and find not only success but also a whole new outlook on life. “I was brainwashed by society, and it took me a while to realize that it’s bullshit,” she says. “It was a really interesting time in my life when I learned so much and had to be re-educated — and finally grew into myself.”
Becoming a Powerhouse of Confidence
Every morning for the past 10 years, McGrady has been waking up and offering herself affirmations. “I had to do that for myself because I hated my body,” she says. “I hated myself, so I had to look in the mirror and say, ‘Hunter, you're beautiful. Those hips are beautiful. Those stretch marks, that signifies growth. That cellulite, everyone has it. Your acne scars. You're beautiful no matter what."
This does not mean she is devoid of insecurities — just that when she starts to experience those thoughts, she is able to put a halt to them. She tells herself to stop, focus on something else, and redirect that energy elsewhere, whether that means reading a book or listening to a podcast.
Practicing self-love for McGrady has been about changing her internal monologue while simultaneously dealing with external forces, including the opinions of others. “When Sports Illustrated first came out, you know how many comments I got?” she recalls. “‘Beached whale,’ and ‘oh God, this is politically correct America trying to put a fat woman out there again,’ and yada, yada, yada.”
McGrady continues, “I would be lying if I said it didn't hurt me because I'm only human, but those people need to be re-educated. It's not me, it's them. It's not any of us. All we're doing is loving ourselves and being who we are.”
Perhaps the best advice I heard from Hunter that day actually originated from her mother: “My mom used to always say, ‘Hunter, pray for them because they're obviously hurting.’" And this is why, dear reader, Hunter McGrady and I pray for the haters.
When Sports Illustrated first came out, you know how many comments I got? I would be lying if I said it didn't hurt me because I'm only human.
Another common critique of celebrating bigger women’s bodies is that it supposedly promotes unhealthy habits. “It's bullshit,” declares McGrady. “I run miles a day and I'm a size 16-18. I live in a fourth-floor walk-up. My legs are strong as can be, and they hold me and they've traveled me through the world.” Her confidence is contagious and also commendable — the type of commitment to oneself that takes practice.
To maintain this work, McGrady is also a believer in therapy. "It's OK to talk to somebody, it's OK to take medication and not feel ashamed. For the longest time, I was this perfect, little, happy girl on the outside but I wasn’t being truthful. And I think what added on to that was me constantly trying to be something I wasn't.”
Her discipline doesn't stop there: She takes it a step further by making sure her activity on social media actively reflects the work she is doing to maintain a good relationship with herself. “About every six months I do a sweep, because I have control of that — I have control of who I follow, [and] I want to follow positive people,” she explains. “I know I'm going to be on my phone at least 10 times a day checking Instagram. So why not feed my soul in what I'm seeing and reading positively?”
Becoming a Beacon of Self-Love
McGrady has 459K Instagram followers to date, and is well aware of the responsibility that comes with that kind of influence.
In 2015, she decided to do something that made her uncomfortable: post an unedited picture of herself on Instagram in her bra and underwear. “The response was overwhelming. And I was like OK, so this is what's needed — to be uncomfortable momentarily. You get through it and you break through that wall and then something bigger happens.”
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She hopes that seeing more women of her size in sexy swimwear will create more acceptance, and will encourage others to follow suit. “You running on that beach or you wearing that bikini, whatever it is, you're showing other people that this is the new norm and they'd better get on board,” she says.
This is what's needed: to be uncomfortable momentarily. You get through it and then something bigger happens.
This is one of the many reasons she collaborated with Playful Promises, a company who has expanded its size range four times in the past three years. For the brand’s summer collection, McGrady helped design 10 new swimsuits, making sure to include details like molded cups with underwire and thick material for support.
She knows that summertime can be challenging for some women: “Being fearless, that's what it's about. And of course it's hard, but you have to have that courage. It literally takes a few minutes and you're like, ‘OK. I'm good. I'm on the beach, I'm chilling, I'm having fun.’ And the next time it gets easier.”
I can't wait for when I don't have to walk into a plus-size section in the very back of a store with four sizes left and everything looking exactly the same.
Like most women above a size 8, McGrady struggles to find fashionable, high-quality clothes that fit her. While amazing brands like 11 Honoré and Eloquii have emerged in the last two years, inclusive fashion lines are still few and far between.
“I can't wait for the time when I don't have to walk into a Nordstrom and the plus-size section is in the very back with four sizes left and everything looks exactly the same,” she says. “I can't wait until I can go shopping with my girlfriends and get on a rack and say, ‘Hey you know what? I love that dress, you can get one in your size and I can get one in my size.’"
Author Malcolm Gladwell famously wrote that it takes 10,000 hours of practice to master a skill. By this measurement, McGrady is a pro at being kind to herself. Her light comes from hours of commitment to practicing self-love and awareness, going to therapy, and always pushing herself outside of her comfort zone. I smile when I imagine all the possibilities this could mean for so many people. The magical aura Hunter McGrady has is at all of our fingertips, and it’s only 10,000 hours away. Start practicing.
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