While all people with vaginas deserve a partner who is excited to go down on them, as the receiver of oral sex, it's normal if you get uncomfortable while getting head. Your partner can reassure you all day that your vagina is beautiful and perfect, but it's still quite common to feel insecure when someone is that up close and personal. It's also normal to get anxious about taking too long to come. As someone who sometimes finds it difficult to relax during oral sex, when I learned about Lelo's Ora 2, an oral sex simulator, I had to find out if using it could make me more comfortable while receiving oral sex from an actual human partner.
In addition to it being totally normal to feel uncomfortable while receiving oral sex, there are other reasons it can sometimes be hard for me to relax. As a sexual assault survivor, sometimes I get PTSD flashbacks when someone goes down on me, which isn't exactly conducive to an orgasm. I need to feel very safe with a person to enjoy oral sex, and I can count the number of people who've made me come by going down on me on one hand. I was encouraged by the thought that using a sex toy might help me get used to the sensation of oral sex without a partner and thus, make oral sex with a partner more comfortable. Here's how it worked for me.
What is the Lelo Ora 2, and how does it work?
Lelo's Ora 2 is a beautiful blue-and-gold piece of art shaped like a large ring that you could place on your bookshelf next to a snow globe and guests would assume it's simply modern art. The sex toy vibrates, so you can use it as any other vibrator, but it also has a feature that feels like a tongue circling your clit. It recreates the sensation of oral sex, or, to be more exact, someone running their tongue in circles around your clit (everyone has their own moves when it comes to giving head). It can be hard to picture how it works without seeing it, though, so to see it in motion, watch the video below.
To try it out, I put on some of my favorite porn and held the beautiful sex toy against me as it ran vibrating circles around my clit. The sensation was unlike other vibrators and did indeed remind me of oral sex — minus the other person between my legs and the anxiety. The Ora 2 took longer to make me come than some vibrators, like the Hitachi Wand, which has always provided pretty immediate orgasms. Just like good head, the Ora 2 takes its time.
While you need not worry about becoming dependent on a vibrator to orgasm, it is good to switch up sensations, so the Ora 2 was an ideal new experience. When I did come, my orgasm lasted longer than most do from standard vibrators, and afterward, I needed some time just to lie in bed and enjoy the post-orgasmic glow. Sometimes after you come you can bounce out of bed and hit the ground running, but this oral sex stimulator asked me to chill out and enjoy all the wonderful sensations I was feeling.
So, did using the Lelo Ora 2 make me feel more comfortable receiving oral sex?
I'm single and not currently dating, so time will tell if using the Ora 2 will make me more comfortable with a partner going down on me. However, it did give me a fulfilling orgasm in a manner that felt like oral sex but did not trigger any bad memories, and I didn't have to deal with anxious thoughts such as, "Are they bored down there yet?" or, "It's been like 20 minutes, I'm scared they're tired, should I fake it?" I also didn't find myself worrying whether my vagina looked pretty or not.
Using the Ora 2 gave me room to realize that answers to such questions are no, I should not fake it, and that all vaginas look pretty. Yet insecurities are normal, and masturbating, especially with an oral sex stimulator, can indeed help you become more comfortable with your body, and therefore oral sex. If you're interested in trying it out to see how it could improve your sex life, it's available for $161 through Lelo's own website.
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