How Doing Household Chores Determines Whether You'll Have Sex

A few years back, scientists suggested that couples who aimed for an equal division of housework had less sex and were way less satisfied with the sex they did have. (Cue the sound of dudes dropping broomsticks everywhere.) But it turns out, the research was taken from data collected from 1992 to 1994, when guys and gals weren’t quite as hip to livin’ la vida 50/50.

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A new study, shows just the opposite: An equal share of mopping, dusting, wiping, and washing doesn’t put a damper on sex at all. In fact, the authors say it could even give your romantic life a boost. They’re calling it an “eroticism of fairness.” It’s not all good news, though: They found that when guys took on the majority of the housework, sex took a hit. Say wha? Um, no.

We’re all for research, but listen: It doesn’t take a scientist to know that thisis how the division of chores influences any woman’s sex life:

1. When you tag-team a massive pile of laundry…You finally have clean underwear (without holes in it), which means the chances of sex just increased tenfold. Also, seeing him delicately fold your thongs is damn cute.

2. When he gets busy with a vacuum…His rhythm is good, it’s humming, his butt is moving around, and you don’t have to step on granola crumbs. All systems are a go on this one.

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3. When you’re picking his little shaving hairs out of the sink…EWW. How hard is it to rinse your loose stubble down the drain? 

4. When you cooked, so he washes the dinner plates and tells you to go watch TV…You’ll definitely be chasing tonight’s episode of Scandal with couch sex.

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5. When you carry in groceries and he takes 90 per cent of the load…“That looked hard, should you take your shirt off? Can you put the milk away? Can I feel your biceps? Should we go put Drake on and get naked?”

6. When you take the rubbish out before he gets up…He’s probably not even going to notice that you did it. Note to self: Tell him about how the curry from last night smelled like a nightmare this morning, and that you handled it like a boss. He definitely owes you a back massage with scented oil for that one.

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